Red Lipstick and Questions......

The other day I happened to find some old audio CDs and when I was free, I listened to them. If they were ok, I’d copy them into my PC. If not, I’d toss them away. So upon listening to them, I’m immediately transported back to my disco days. So many flashbacks came upon me, leaving me in a trance of music, lights and dance. Old Def Leppard, some Michael Jackson (man, he’s truly a super star), Linkin Park, the great Scorpions…….gosh, they’re like old friends I’ve forgotten.

My lips in red, nice?

I reminisce my trademark look, those red red lipstick, black eyeliner, my high heels, tights and tight shirts. Well, I was a lot more `shapely’ then…sigh…and my stomach wasn’t as huge as it is now. I was crazy, carefree and I loved life. It was an amazing time. It’s the disco every Saturday and I’d hit the dance floor for hours. There was this one time when I was with a group of girls, some guys try to chat us up. One of the guys actually thought I was Japanese, we giggled and just said that I am. I danced with him but that was it, I didn’t talk at all as I was shy.

Then, I shut off the music which I was listening through headphones, turned around to check on my sleeping kids and I’m suddenly brought back to reality. I’m 38 years old now, I’ve two kids and I’m way out of shape. My eyes have been opened to the harsh reality of life, of what it can do to bring me pain, suffering but also the realization that God is amist it all, still looking out for me eventhough I thought He had forsaken me and tossed me to a buffet of delighted devils.

So, I can’t help but wonder, really, is there a way to relive those happy moments where everything is more one dimensional rather than four? To laugh out loud, the type of laugh that bares all 36 teeth and gums, that really exercises the lungs, make our stomach ache. Do I need that red lipstick again or heels to feel that again? What will I need to do to find that innocence when I hit 40? Are those times over and ultimately gone? When I continue to ponder on this question, I guess I’ll add this thought or question into my list of motivational thoughts. That I really should continue to be a better me, to try my best to live a healtier life, all so that I will be able to find the answer to these questions. How can one die without experiencing that happiness again, or at least try to relive it again but in a different way………….what way??? That’s the question.