Hitting a brick wall

For the past 2 months, my weight loss plan seem to be at a stand still. I’m stuck at 90kgs, after losing 10kgs. I suppose the good part is that I HAVE already lost some weight BUT the bad part seem to out weigh the good now. I’m 4 kgs behind schedule. And although some of the habits I’ve painfully ditched like caffeine and rice did not return, some of my old ones did. Snacking is one, cravings is another. In a diet like mine, with this body of mine, I find I simply cannot snack or eat in between meals. Once I start, it’s VERY hard to stop.

My senses seem to be working against me in this one. When I was at the cyber café the other day, I heard the sound of someone eating, munching potato chips. Oh! The sound of the crispiness, crackling inside the mouth. It’s simply too much to not imagine the food in my head, I didn’t have to turn to look at who’s eating it and what they’re eating, my imagination did all that. That stayed with me for a few days until I just have to buy a bag of it and polish it all in one go. It was very satisfying but of course, I felt like crap after that.

Another strange thing I’ve been craving for everyday are chicken liver! I really don’t know why I seem to can’t have enough of it since I’ve never liked them before. I’ve checked in the internet and it seems about one pop is about 130calories….and I’ve been eating about 3 of them for breakfast! This has to stop!!

My eyes also betrayed me as I caught a glimpse of one of my favourite food, ebi tempura. Ebi tempura is a Japanese cuisine – deep fried prawns in batter. Yeah, the word deep fried is sin enough. And again, that imagine stayed in my mind for a few days and as all cravings that cannot be ignored, I just have to eat it before I go out of my mind.

Exercise has also taken a back seat. I keep an exercise dairy, in order to make sure I have at least 30mins of exercise 5-6 times a week. I’m so disappointed to see that in the month of October, the whole thing was empty.

Help me, Jesus, no matter how silly my requests are. I know you listen to me. My weight loss is important to me.Take away my food cravings, my addictions. I want to be a better person, not only for me but for my kids and family. I implore You, Jesus. Give me this chance as You have given me so many. 

Common, girl. Get up and jump back on the band wagon. You need to do this. Not only for yourself, but for your kids. Remember how sick you felt before? You want to go through that again?? NO!! Find that strength inside yourself again, you can do this. You CAN do this. Prove them all wrong!!